I'm Falling in Love...Finally

Let me first just say, it's about damn time.

For so long have I been going about life, surrounded by all things so utterly mundane, drowning in fear created by my own inability to fall in love with any of it. I was beginning to think it would never happen for me. I had come to terms with the fact that I, despite all the love I have to give, would never fall in love in return.

Looking back, I suppose it only makes sense. Time and time and time again, I have put my heart, paired with all I have to give, out on the line without reservation, never fully reciprocated. Believing I was in love so often - prepared to rip open my chest and hand over my guts. The process of rejection is exhausting, to say the least. Yet, I persisted again and again and again. Continuing down my path on this excursion, anxiously peering around in hopes of discovering anything that would accept my love.

But now, things have changed.

I'm finally falling in love.

I'm not falling in love with any one person. A knight in shinning armor has not appeared out of the dusk, swooping me up onto his trusty steed onto our own happily ever after.

Rather, I have found the strength to fall in love with every person, everything, every experience, everyday. I have decided to be my own Prince Charming, creating my own fairy tale ending.

After the immense effort to keep any passionate feelings of love bottled up on a daily basis, I have decided to let that go. I want every aspect of my life to overflow with honest, genuine love, drowning out anything that is not.

I choose to fall in love with every day. I play in the sun when it shines, and appreciate the rain that fuels the earth.

I will share love with each face I meet, each hand I shake. People are good. When people are not loved or cared for properly, they stray from their ability to see, do and accept good. I choose to cover those people in love. With the correct circumstances, people are good.

You owe it to yourself to fall in love with your daily life, simply because you are alive. Think about that. You are alive.

In no way do I mean to imply that falling in love is easy. I would branch out to say that it is quite the opposite. It is difficult to override negative feelings. Yet, oddly enough, it is important to acknowledge negativity, as it is only natural. Give sadness, anger, jealousy or confusion the attention they deserve. Feel all of your emotions, and then choose to bathe them in love.

I'm falling in love not because everything is perfect, but because everything that is so beautifully, frustratingly and uniquely flawed has brought me where I am right now, exactly where I am supposed to be.

Lastly, never forget that love is always worth it. No matter how short lived, or how painful the ending may be.

Love is always worth it.

Like the Mountains

Today I am sad.

Today I am scared.

This morning I did not want to get out of bed, I stared out at the gloomy day, as the weather mirrored my mood. However, I already know far too well that life doesn't stop for anyone or anything, so I pulled myself up to face the day ahead. 

After accomplishing very little, I decided it was time to take a trip to my personal meditation studio on the Blue Ridge Parkway. I could no longer function with the abundance of thoughts dancing around my brain. Something about the view, the feeling of crisp mountain air on my face and the silence that threatens to swallow you whole never fails to clear my mind and put my size into perspective.

As I trekked up the parkway, I noticed majority of the trees stand tall and bare. A few hold on tightly to their colors, but soon they too will fall. It is a season of change. Although my heart longs to live in a world with warm orange and red leaves year round, I know that is not realistic. It is necessary that they fall because they were not created to survive the winter. A form of self-protection, almost. The leaves must die so that they can grow back, strong and healthy, to begin a new life in the spring. The loss of all those vibrant colors means that soon branches will be covered in glittering white snow. So I will fret not, since I know there is always something just as uniquely beautiful ahead.

I reach Wilson Creek Valley, my favorite overlook by far. As usual, I am absolutely floored by the view and must remind myself to breathe. The mountains stand tall and sturdy, unaffected by the dreary day or the chaos of society surrounding it. I want to be like the mountains. Fearlessly bold and impossible to miss, resiliently facing whatever the weather may bring. Silently displaying their graceful beauty without boasting. And even in the strongest storm, the mountains never fall or falter. They face what is to come head on without any fear or loss of dignity.

Today I am sad. Today I am scared. But today I decided to be like the mountains. I will not let the weather surrounding me change who I am or the kind of person I want to be. Continuing to hold my ground for the things I believe in with grace, my voice will not be ignored. This fear will not conquer me. I will stand tall and true, knowing that there is something beautiful waiting just around the corner. I will not be alone. You will not be alone. We will come together and stand strong like the mountains, and we will make it through the storms ahead. 

Love conquers all. Love will always win.